Thursday, February 24, 2011

Leaving Las Vegas

After five years, one robbery, two scam artists, five million topless pictures and five hundred days of triple digit heat, we are over Sin City. We're packing up and heading out.
And we're selling it all.

That's right. For a low, low price, you can be the proud owners of:

A living room set faded only slightly by the blazing sun.

A dining room set that is already coated with the ever present desert dust.

My husband's HDTV. Where we're going, he'll be too busy helping "greenhorns" learn about ranching to worry about Sunday's football game.

(Edited by poster: HDTV not for sale. - Todd)

All outdoor patio furniture, perfectly faded to blend in with the Nevada landscape.

Forty-seven boxes of baseball, football and basketball cards because we're not going to be carting those things up north.

(Edited by poster: Cards are NOT for sale. They're an INVESTMENT. -Todd)

Two queen beds including headboards.

Two beach cruisers, used once and then we decided we prefer transportation with air conditioning.

Assorted hand and power tools, including one never-used, but very expensive jigsaw.

(Edited by poster: Tools not for sale. Wife delusional. -Todd)

In addition to all of the above, we have a variety of random pieces of our time in the desert including, but not limited to, coyote painting (not mine), two dream catchers (not mine), a stuffed armadillo (not mine), fake pottery (gift from MIL) and a collection of casino chips from casinos no longer in business. (Really not mine.)

If you'd like to purchase any of these items, please contact Carrie or Todd at 555-9565 before we head to Montana, home of fresh air, clean water and wide open spaces.


This was a little piece of fiction based off The Red Dress Club prompt to create a humorous Craigslist or Ebay ad "breaking up" with something or someone. In this case, my characters broke up with Las Vegas.

As for whether or not it was funny...I've decided it's harder to be funny on purpose than be funny on accident.

So...did you smile?

48 comments:

The Drama Mama said...

It's definitely harder to be funny on purpose!!! But, yes I did laugh out loud. The "edited by poster" comments cracked me up. I literally Laugh(ed) out Loud.

Fragrant Liar said...

Yes, I smiled. The funniest part was Todd. Well done!

Good luck in Montana? For reals?

mandyland said...

Todd was the only thing that made it funny!

And no...not going to Montana. But there's this guy? Who owns a place up there? Named Henry.... See where I was going with this?

Jessica said...

I have to admit that in the beginning I thought you were serious but then as I kept reading I realized that you weren't. I was laughing. I wish I could sell some of my husband's things.

Kibble n' Dribble said...

I'm determined to participate today, but keep stalling because I have such a hard time being funny on purpose. But you definitely made me smile, especially the part about the the sports memorabilia.

CDG said...

Oh, Todd... so delusional! Heehee!

Also? Is Todd moving to Henry's ranch??? Is he? Is he?

jessica said...

Totally smiled. Two new people that I just must know the story of. I love this although now you will have me torn each week as to who I want to hear about next.

Carrie said...

I smiled, especially at the Editor's notes :)

Now, what's wrong with having chips from defunct casinos? (says the girl with a pile of tokens from various casinos on the Strip) ;)

Amy Grew said...

very funny! I loved how your husband chimed in a few times

Sara said...

Wife delusional! ha! also I think we have an unopened jigsaw in our garage somewhere :)

Valerie said...

(Edited by commenter: this is TOO FUNNY!-Valerie)

Sonora said...

HA! That was clever. I loved the edits by Todd. I found this prompt to be quite difficult. I never came up with anything, but your idea was a good one!

Victoriakp said...

I loved the "edits" by Todd--especially the "wife delusional" one.

A. B. Keuser said...

The edits are the best. "Wife Dilusional" sounds about right.

Great post!

Rita @YippyMomma said...

Love the edits in between. Dropping by from TRDC

MiMi said...

I DID! Because right now Vegas has lots of "for sale" signs around. And because my inlaws live there and they have a beautiful, bright home, but so many are just tired and saggy like you wrote about. :)

Jennifer Williams said...

I thought it was very clever, and Todd's insertions made it funny.

@CaitsConcepts said...

LOL! I love the edits by the husband.. those just make the post!

Jennifer said...

I too loved the Todd interjections but I really really loved the (not mines).

Renee said...

This gave me giggles! From the "edits" to the "not mine"s.

And every once in awhile, I think Montana sounds awesome. But then my native earth reminds me where I belong.

mandyland said...

I'm glad it made you giggle. Giggling is good - especially when I'm trying to be funny!

I have a kind of continuing story (fiction) that takes place in Montana. I thought it was time to introduce a couple new characters. :)

mandyland said...

Thanks for the brainstorming session, lady.

mandyland said...

Thanks!

mandyland said...

Because I'm married to a Chad. lol

This is a bit of fiction that is going to introduce two new characters in my running story.

mandyland said...

The sad thing is this is what Chad's been telling me while he goes through his 25,000 cards!!

mandyland said...

I sat here for an hour wondering how to make it funny and then had the idea for "Todd" to insert his comments. Phew!

mandyland said...

Totally fictional, but honestly? My husband would do the same thing. :)

mandyland said...

The only time I've ever drank a Super Big Gulp was in Vegas. I downed that sucker in two minutes and was STILL thirsty.

Thanks for reading. :)

mandyland said...

HA! No kidding! My husband has a collection of cards just like the fictional Todd. And yes. It's an investment of wated space, without a doubt.

Of course, the one time (or the one thousandth, hard to keep track) I mention this, he pulls out a card worth some cash.

mandyland said...

It's hard NOT to be tired and saggy in Vegas. It's just one of those places.

mandyland said...

Stained T's are the worst. Especially when they're ragged and ripped. I mean, really? We can't go buy you a new $5 T?

mandyland said...

Thank you!!

mandyland said...

Thanks!

mandyland said...

HAHAHHAHAHAH!

mandyland said...

LOL

mandyland said...

Totally fictional, but inspired by real life. My husband isn't into tools, but good Lord, the sports cards are taking over our closets!

mandyland said...

I've been pondering adding more secondary characters for a bit now. I mean...there should be SOMEone in Montana for Ellie to befriend. And who better than a quick-witted, sassy chef who left Vegas in a rush for wide open spaces?

mandyland said...

It's crazy how tacky they are until they meet us. lol

Sara said...

pretty sure we have a never used jigsaw as well. love the editor's comments. classic.

Karen Peterson said...

The edits made me giggle.

Natalie@mommyofamonster said...

Todd's responses are the BEST!!!

Brandon said...

HAHA! Love the 'edited' bits. "Wife is delusional" CRACKED me up! Great job!

mandyland said...

Thank you!

mandyland said...

They made me giggle too. ;)

mandyland said...

He kind of makes this post. lol

mandyland said...

We really want to head up to the snow at some point this winter. Not sure if we'll make it, but doesn't it make you want to roll your eyes that we're going DRIVE to it? lol

mandyland said...

Thank you! Sorry this is so late. With two TRDC prompts, I have a hard time commenting, responding to comments, reading...lol

Karen @ Time Crafted said...

Just hopped here from your current TRDC water piece, so I could meet Carrie & Todd and am glad I did. Enjoyed Todd editing Carrie's listing! :>