I love my husband. I truly do.
And he has his talents.
He can figure out how much an item will cost with sales tax and discounts in seconds.
He is a human spellchecker, keeping me from making an idiot of myself on Twitter and Facebook.
He does dishes and laundry, he vacuums and helps clean the bathrooms. He keeps my car cleaned out, gassed up and the oil changed.
I shouldn't complain. I really shouldn't. But there's one teeny, tiny thing that bugs me to no end.
He's not handy. At all.
When the deep freezer in the garage stopped working, he ran an extension cord to our bedroom and called it fixed.
When our bathroom light stopped turning on, emitting tiny blue sparks, he told me to just use one of the other lights. When it mysteriously started working again, he called it fixed.
And when the front of our junk drawer fell off, it sat, on our counter for four days, looking sad and forlorn until finally, after a lot nagging and with a great deal of sighing, he took it to his dad's house to be fixed.
It comes as no surprise then, that as I scrape my knuckles assembling bookshelves or balance precariously on a step stool to replace the smoke detector battery, I fantasize about the other man in my life.
Chaz.
What? You didn't know I have two husbands.
Oh I'm not a polygamist. Chaz lives entirely in fantasy.
He bears a striking resemblance to Chad. Both are tall with dark hair and brown eyes. Both have the same square jaw line that's nearly impossible to keep stubble free. Both have broad shoulders, strong arms and smell delicious. But then, they start to differ...
You see, Chaz walks around with a tool belt strapped on his lean hips, unclogging the garbage disposal, building chicken coops and repairing broken drawers.
The only drawback, of course, is that the drawers he fixes and the disposals he unclogs are also fantasy. And while I have a very rich fantasy life, it can't make the transition to the corporeal.
Bummer.
5 comments:
my fiancee is sorta handy, but he will call the plumber or the electrician at least!
He's yummy.
Me and my imaginary friends...we have such a great time!
I SAW your post and couldn't comment. I'm on my way over there now to shower you with hugs for mentioning me. :)
Funny. My guy can lay tile, build a deck or install a dishwasher but ask him to change a light bulb or plunge a toilet and suddenly his back hurts or he really needs to research something for work. And if the job requires creativity, he'll come down with an inexplicable illness.
Good thing we like the same kind of beer and make cute kids together or it would be one rocky marriage.
I have 2 husbands as well. The first one can fix things around the house though is a total metrosexual. My other husband is less girly and weighs more than me. :)
Post a Comment