Seven Years - Part 1

Let's take a trip back to 2002...

I had just gotten out of yet another in a series of long-term relationships. Frustrated with dating guys who wanted to play around, I embarked on a mission to meet Mr. Right rather than Mr. Right Now.

I told my friends that I was open to blind dates. What followed was a deluge of disastrous encounters.

There was "Frank" who was not only twenty years older, but kept trying to get me drunk and back to his place. My normal politeness ended when he leaned over to me and said, "Why don't we just kiss and get rid of all this tension?" Needless to say, I got out of his car when he stopped at a gas station, leaving a note that said "Thanks but no thanks".

There was "Mike" who spent our entire date weeping over his soon-to-be ex-wife. I listened, told him I was sorry and then played counselor. He gave me a hug at the end of the night and I never heard from him again. I hope he got back together with his wife. He seemed to truly love her. He was just a little lost.

And then there was "Jake" who felt the Holy Spirit overcome him when he walked me to my door. He dropped down to his knees and started praying out loud. I finally had to tell him that it just wasn't working out when he told me that I should emulate Sarah who called her husband "lord".

Irritated, buzzing on a little too much wine and encouraged my friends, I signed up for Match.com. Surely I could do better on my own. I posted my profile and then, waited. Before long emails started arriving. One was from a guy named Ryan who lived nearby, liked sci-fi and seemed fun. We chatted on line for a week and then he asked for my number. A couple long phone calls later, he invited me to a BBQ at his house.

My friends were apprehensive.

"What do you know about this guy?"

"Are you sure it's safe?"

"Make sure you have pepper spray."

"Give me the address. If you don't call by 9:00, I'm going over there."

Throwing on jeans, a pair of heeled sandals and a salmon colored top, I grabbed a six pack of Firestone and headed over. I expected at least ten people in attendance. After all, a typical BBQ for my friends and I usually swelled to two dozen friends and family. Walking up to the door, I noticed it was quiet. Odd. Where was the music, the laughter, the noise?

Ryan opened the door at my knock. He was nice, good-looking and had a wide smile. He took the beer and led me into an empty kitchen where he started small talk. Looking around, I couldn't see anyone else.

"Am I early?"

"No. It's just going to be my roommate and I. Everyone else had other plans."

"Oh." I fiddled with my bracelet, standing against the wall and trying to figure out where to go from here. I had expected enough people to ease the discomfort of meeting a new person. Ryan continued awkwardly chatting while he put together a salad and then he reached into the cupboard and pulled out a can of creamed corn. Right then I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to date this guy. Call me shallow, but creamed corn? At a BBQ? I eased towards where I'd left my purse at the entry way and got ready to place my "escape call".

Before I could pick up my phone, Ryan's roommate blew into the room. He walked with purpose, eating up the distance between the living room and the kitchen in a few quick steps. Tall with dark hair and intense brown eyes, he stopped in front of me, held out his hand and said, "Hi. I'm Chad."

As silly as it sounds, at that moment, my heart stopped. I looked at him and thought, there you are. It's about damn time. Smiling I shook his hand and decided that I'd risk eating creamed corn in order to get to know this guy.

The three of us sat at the table, Ryan and I sharing a chicken breast while Chad ate a huge steak. I drank a glass of wine and relaxed into conversation. It was one of the oddest dinners of my life.

Feeling more like a job interview than a date, Chad and Ryan took turns asking me questions. After dinner, we went to the living room where I sat in a chair and they plopped down on a couch, continuing to pepper me with questions.

What's my family like?

Who did I vote for in the last election?

Do I believe in God?

Where do I work?

What's my favorite movie?

What's my favorite book?

How did I feel about the private school voucher system?

Before long, it was past midnight. Pleading exhaustion and an early morning at work, I stood to go. Chad walked over to me, took my hand in his and said, "It was great meeting you." I squeezed his hand, trying to let him know how much I'd enjoyed meeting him. Ryan walked me to my car where I gave him a quick handshake and thanked him for dinner. I got in my car and called my friend Carrie.

"How did it go?"

"Well. Ryan's really nice and all, but I really liked his roommate."

"Oh wow."

"Yeah. Bummer there."

"Well, at least you had a good time."

"Yeah." I hung up the phone and wished it had been Chad who'd responded to my profile.

Two days later, I got an email at work.

"Hi. This is Chad. Ryan's roommate. I was wondering, if you're not interested in Ryan, if I could get your number and call you some time."

Giddy, I immediately responded.

"So great to hear from you! How did you get my email address?" I went on to explain that I wasn't really interested in Ryan and would love for Chad to call me but I didn't want to cause any hurt feelings between him and his friend.

Chad responded, "I remembered where you worked and looked up your email. I don't think Ryan will have a problem with me calling you. I'd really like to take you out on a date."

I sent him my number and then sent his email to my girlfriends. Because that's what girls do.