Have I ever told you that people with accents don't understand me?
Not in the deep, philosophical meaning of "understand". They literally cannot understand the words coming out of my mouth.
I first noticed it when I worked at Denny's and the Spanish speaking cooks would look at me blankly while I attempted to amend an order. And then again in England when the Scottish waitress stared at me in consternation while I tried to order a turkey sandwich without tomatoes.
Same story with our first daycare provider - she was from Korea, our back up pediatrician - she's from India, and my pharmacist who hails from Ireland.
It's incredibly frustrating and makes absolutely no sense.
Which brings me to Siri.
Yes. Siri.
I upgraded my iPhone a couple weeks ago and was excited to use Siri. I pushed the button and said:
"Siri, where is the nearest hamburger restaurant?"
"I'm sorry. I don't understand your request, Mandy."
"Where. Is. The. Nearest. Hamburger. Restaurant." I enunciated each word like Eliza Doolittle on steroids.
"I'm sorry. I don't understand your request, Mandy."
Frustrated, I turned her off and tried, instead, to answer a text via voice to text. I read my sister's message that she planted peas and broccoli.
Pushing the little microphone button, I replied, "Did you end up planting radishes?"
Glancing at the screen, I read:
I didn't know you were raped.
What. The. Hell?
Hitting the delete button, I typed my response instead.
After drinking a little water, I tried again. On a different message. Chad had texted that Elizabeth had asked for me.
Pushing the microphone button, I replied, "Tell her I'll call her later to send her hugs and kisses."
Looking down, I read:
I love you.
Obviously my voice to text is possessed.
And equally obviously, Siri and my iPhone suffer from the same inability to understand me as others.
It must be their slightly British accent.
7 comments:
This was hilarious! I just laughed again when I thought of, "I didn't know you were raped." Soooo inappropriate. So very wrong. And funny.
So, what kind of accent do you have that foreigners and robots can't understand you?
That is hilarious! After every iPhone/Siri commercial, my husband tries Siri like the celebrities - it never works that well for him and he gets angry. I don't use her - though she did get me out of the hood once when I got lost driving.
I want Siri but I'm already awkward so having random text sent to people is going to be very very bad.
Can someone else get Siri to do what you want on your phone? You need a control.
I need a personal assistant. ;)
LOL!! I get so mad that Zooey can get Siri to find her tomato soup and I can't even check the time.
WAAAAY inappropriate. It would have the best damn you autocorrect yet. ;)
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