To trim.
Literally.
Our fake - because Joseph's allergic - tree is 6.5' tall and 45" wide at the base. The only spot in the house in which to place said plastic pine is a bit smaller than that.
I stared at the tree and wondered...why not just put the top two tiers into the base? I tried it and voila! Trimmed tree.
It was hard, decorating for Christmas. Most, if not all, of my Christmas memories are tied to Chad. He sat at my computer, downloading music to his iPod while I sorted through boxes of ornaments. What do you do with the "Our First Home" and "Our First Christmas" ornaments? He didn't know. Neither did I. So, I put them back in the box and reached for ceramic wrapped in bubbles.
Christmas music played in the background, sending a rush of other Christmases washing over me.
The first Christmas we spent together in our apartment.
The Christmas when I was pregnant with Joseph and so worried about what the future held.
The Christmas when Joseph was a baby and I put all the ornament just out of his reach.
The Christmas when Joseph started to "help" decorate.
The Christmas when Elizabeth was a baby reaching for the lights.
And then...the other memory flooded back.
The horrible fight last Christmas. Standing in a cold garage, shaking in anger, begging Chad to please, please decorate with us, to connect with his family. The horrible sadness when he looked at me and replied, very simply, "I can't."
Other memories pushed to the forefront. Memories that are painful and sad and not at all in the spirit of Christmas.
I swallowed them like a bitter pill, and unwrapped the handprints I had made for each of the kids when they were babies. I stood back and smiled as Elizabeth asked to see the "baby hand".
The tree is trimmed. The lights are on. The ornaments filled the smaller space even with half missing. Joseph is happy the house is being decorated. Elizabeth lays on the floor and stares at the lights, the ornaments, the baby hands.
New Christmas memories are being made. New Christmas traditions will start. And that's okay.
4 comments:
looks love-ly! genius to leave off the top (or bottom?)
you're correct - new traditions are being made THIS holiday season. Look for the "magic" in the kid's eyes! keep the holiday simple! spend time creating new memories! do something new (watch 3 new holiday movies with the kids; make new ornaments; decorate the bathroom with lights or bells; invite friends over for cookies & cocoa; go on an adventure - collect pinecones; make a new recipe using red & green ingredients)... most of ALL... know your friends are here to help! please call on us! need a break - I'm a phone call away!
AND - take care of YOU... you don't want your holidays to be memories of sick kids & momma...
Of course you "trimmed" the tree, you lovely, resourceful creature.
And a lovely tree it is.
Why thank you! I'm a tree decorating failure. Too OCD to properly randomize the ornaments. Fortuately I have two randomizers at my disposal. :) xoxox
Thank you, Chris. We're going to bake cookies for our neighbors as our "new" tradition. I'll be pulling out that recipe you shared. :)
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