One of my biggest irrational worries - after a serial killer stalking me through twitter and before zombie invasion - is that I will unwittingly turn my children into laughingstocks.
How?
Well, it may come as a shock to you, but I haven't always been the stylish, cool and amazingly verbose blogger you currently read.
Now hold on.
The verbose part has always been true. But the rest?
I'm afraid I was a nerd of the first degree.
I know, right?
Me.
It wasn't just that my jokes came from a third grade joke book or the fact that I read Pearl S. Buck instead of Sweet Valley High. And it wasn't just because I was very religious or because I wore clothes two sizes too big to hide my boobs. It wasn't even the short haired perm or the Sally Jesse Raphael glasses.
No. It was the Holly Hobby lunch box I carried until high school.
It was the fact that I was so oblivious to the real world, living forever in my head, that I didn't catch social nuances and constantly stuck my foot in my mouth.
And even though you all think I'm cool, I'm actually not.
I know, right?
Gasps. Of. Surprise.
But remember, when I visit my sisters, they do my make up and hair. They go shopping with me and put me in clothes that I'd never think to buy. They tsk under their breaths and sigh in disappointment that I still don't know how to straighten my hair or properly wear a sweater.
Did you know there are proper ways to wear a sweater? Ask Becky. She'll tell you.
So, as I peruse the back to school aisles and look at backpacks and lunch boxes, I find myself anxiety ridden.
What if I buy Joseph that really cute lunchbox only to have it be the boy equivalent to Holly Hobby?
What if I get him the super cool Trapper Keepers (do they still have those?) when PeeChees are all anyone uses? (Seriously. Do those items even exist still?)
What if I get him all the gorgeous organizational tools for his little desk area only to have the other kids look at him askance?
What if I make him sushi for his lunch when everyone else eats PB&J.
What if I put him in the wrong shoes and the wrong shirts and the wrong shorts?
What if I send him to school in an outfit that will instantly peg him as one to be bullied, picked on?
Or what if I end up trying too hard? Buy him the $45 lunch box, the $65 backpack and then, he's even more out of place?
It's enough to make me huddle in the glue and crayon aisle.
It's enough to make me buy a lot, and by a lot, I mean a lot, of extra school supplies to bribe his teachers to keep a special eye on him. I've heard teachers can be bought with glue sticks and glitter.
Especially those Kindergarten teachers.
19 comments:
Yes. Exactly. I just bought an insane lunchbox. I'm now fearful of poundings and mocking. Kindergarten ain't for the weak.
I think I would have REALLY REALLY liked you in Grade and High School. that being said, I too, often wonder about how to make my kids Semi Cool...I mean they get a lot of attention because they are twins, but I worry about them once they are out of school/daycare and thrust into the "other world" ...
I know Joseph will be just fine, follow his lead and keep a brown bag for the hyperventilating handy. ;)x0
I was a middle of the road kinda kid. fun, smart, friends with everyone. we moved around a lot, too - and that sucked. but having my oscar the grouch lunch box with me consistently was like my safety blanket. regardless of what other kids said. Heh.
I've resigned myself to the fact that my kids aren't going to be cool. I remember my Alf lunch box in 5th grade. It was about 3/4 of the way through the school year that I realized that everyone was packing their lunches in brown paper bags.
My son, at 20 months, has one thing, am one thing only that will make him up & stop a tantrum. Star Wars. My daughter, at 13 months only ever gets violent if you make her put on clothes (I hope she grows out of that) or if she can't play with the firetruck we have.
I'm in trouble. But it will probably be 3/4 of the way to their adolescence before I realize that they're marching to the beat of their own drums.
I'm not worried about HIS drum. I'm worried about MINE. Since I'm the one buying the clothes, the backpack, the lunchbox...will MY drum turn him into a dork?
On his own, the kid is cool. At least I think so.
And yeah...Star Wars is big in our house. So is naked.
I was so not a middle of the road kinda kid. Although I thought I was fun and smart.
I like to tell myself I was ahead of the times. A few years after I graduated, lunchboxes - the tin kind I always carried - came back in style.
LOL Note to self: Stock up on brown bags.
What lunch box did you buy??
Mandy why dont you let him have a say in what you pick out? I always let jordyn pick out and have a say in what I buy her. I even let Zachry pick things out himself...like do you want spiderman or sponge bob. If they like it who cares what everyone else thinks :)
I always thought you were great... Does that mean I was a nerd too?!? I mean, you played a damn good Land of a Grand!
I have the very same fears, Mandy. I am still a socially inept nerd and have no idea how to save my girls from the same terrible (?) fate.
My fears are kind of related. I was (am) a dork. But with the personality T has right now, I figure he's going to be the popular boy. You know, the nice one. The one that is friends with everyone. And he'll invite all his friends over to my house and I'll make a dork of myself. It'll be awesome. Seriously.
decisions! decisions! what to do?? what to do???
ummmm... I would buy only 2-3 new items for the first couple weeks of school - that way the girls would figure out what they wanted to buy after seeing what their friends were wearing. Saved a lot of tears (theirs & mine, too) & $$$.... and it's too hot to wear the Fall fashions until October or November!
Pack a brown bag lunch & draw pictures or place stickers on the outside! buy the lunchbox later.
I like that idea!!
Well, it's kinda cool to be a dorky parent who makes your child groan and shake his head. Right?
Well, we turned out okay. Right?
Oh chick! You might have been one of five. lol
And...umm...you MIGHT have been a nerd too. You obviously outgrew it. 'Cause you're kinda smokin' hot and cool now.
I cringe at what he might pick out! But you're right, cuz. Totally right.
I understand completely! When it comes to Jordyn picking out things half the time I'm cringing and some of her crazy outfits she walks out of her room in I'm thinking "uhhhhh" but that's how trends get started too lol. She has put together some crazy styles and her friends have been like "oh cool I like your outfit Jordyn" Its hard letting the little birdies spread their wings and fly huh?
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