There is a mouse.
In my house.
This is not a Dr. Seuss book.
This is real life.
There's a friggin' MOUSE in my HOUSE!
It started a week ago. I was sitting at the computer (naturally), typing away when I heard an odd noise from the bathroom. Frowning, I stood up and walked to the bathroom door thinking that perhaps Maggie had decided to take a bath.
Looking into the bathroom, I didn't see Maggie, but did hear a strange tap, tap, tapping on the bathroom wall.
And then there was movement. A twitch of the shower curtain that could only be caused by the largest mouse in the history of mice.
Shrieking - quietly, the kids were in bed - I slammed the door shut and ran to my computer. I jumped on my chair and sent a cry for help in the form of a facebook wall post and tweet.
The advice ranged from violent to screams of virtual terror.
And still, I sat in my living room and bemoaned the fact that while I could swallow my fear of spiders to attack an encroaching arachnid, mice are mammals, pets to some and much more difficult to kill.
Mostly because of the blood.
And you all know I'm squeamish around blood.
Then came the idea of a mouse trap. A spring operated mechanism that would decapitate a hapless mouse. The vision of the poor creature, stiff with death, made me gag and shudder.
So, muttering curses at my single state and wishing a prince would come save me from my rodent infestation, I did the only thing I could think.
I locked the bathroom door and stuffed a towel in the tiny gap at the floor. Then, speaking through the door, I made a covenant with the mouse:
"I won't bother you if you don't bother me. And by bother me, I mean don't run across my face in the middle of the night or run out from under the door while I'm walking by or creep up my chair while I'm typing. And by bother you, I mean I won't cause your death and destruction."
The mouse apparently understands English because it retreated to the garage and while I see it scurry out the garage door on occasion, it doesn't bother me.
So I won't bother it.
12 comments:
hahaha! I hate to laugh at your mouse problem, but that is pretty much exactly what I would do!
Whatever happens, don't let anyone talk you into using the glue traps. My friend did that, and the sad crying of the mouse (her words) when it got stuck was like torture.
Does anyone know what mice do? Besides eat away at mattress and poo everywhere? Do they have a redeeming quality about them?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
So, um Mandy: good luck with that.
You can get those humane traps! The mouse walks in to eat some food, the door closes, and he's trapped inside. But alive! We had a mouse problem back when I was still married & we'd trap them & then J would release them far away from the house.
Of course, you'd have to empty the trap yourself. Which gives me the heebies. Or make a friend come over to take care of it.
We had mice in our garage. They were eating through the dog food bag. My husband create what he likes to call "the mouse thunderdome". Don't ask. It didn't end well for the mice.
EEEEEEK!
Okay, now that that's out of the way, I won't tell you about my old apartment that was infested. Where mice would scurry out of the stove every day. Where I'd "dispose of" mice once, twice weekly. No. You don't need to hear about that right now.
Oh, good luck with that . . . I have two lazy terriers and a lazier cat who I trust will keep my house free of mice . . . I posted, some time ago, how I stepped in mouse poop & got cellulitis, so this post has me all heebie-jeebied . . .
My dog does NOTHING to disuade the mice. I'm sure they're paying her off.
OMG! I'm shuddering and jumping around. Ewww!
Holy carp. Is your husband available? Can he be paid in home preserves?
Hmmm....that's not a bad idea...
They have to right? I mean, they're not like mosquitos or snails. They MUST have a redeeming quality.
Nightmare! I seriously couldn't handle any sort of trap that killed the poor mouse.
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