Even though the temperature is still inching towards 100, summer is over.For me.
It's time to head back to work, get to bed before midnight (oops) and start getting up early. It's time to find a new rhythm, a new routine, a new day-to-day. It's time for the fog to lift.
I've had six weeks to think, to figure, to plan, to float.
And, while I didn't accomplish most of my summer goals - the book isn't done yet, I haven't learned to make sushi, I didn't do something adventurous - I accomplished some things I wouldn't have written six weeks ago.
Chad moved out.
I took out divorce papers.
I learned to live alone.
I started running.
When you add up those four, well, I think I can cut myself some slack for my lack of goal meeting. For the most part, these are things that, as my friend Jim says, take a lot of energy. Energy that I don't always have, so I had to add yet another item to my list.
I'm learning to just be.
It's not easy for me. I'm a planner, a pusher, a mover forwarder. But this whole "be" thing? I think it's supposed to happen. It's not comfortable, but, at the same time, it's the only way for the fog to lift.
There are things in my life I can't change. There are things in my life I can't fix. There are things in my life out of my control.
And I have to let those things be.
I have to accept them and be okay.
Or so they tell me. And by "they" I mean every. single. person. in my life.
Including my therapist.
It's a conspiracy.
So...as you read this, I'm at work. Slaving away. Okay. I don't precisely slave away. I'll probably spend a good portion of the morning chatting with my boss about The Help and catching up on all the office gossip. Still! I'll be at work.
Summer's over.
2 comments:
Oh crap. I'm part of the conspiracy. You're juggling a lot and if you can come out okay, even through the highs and the lows, then yes, that is more than okay. Sometimes there's greatness. Sometimes there just getting through. And there's time for both. I'll say one thing, you have managed to go through/begin some major life changes and you've still managed to keep your wit, charm, and wicked way with words....and that's more than okay! :>
I have been thinking of you so much. I know that soemtimes life doesn't go exactly as planned but it doesn't make it any less wonderful, there are doors you have yet to open and I swear they are going to change your life and your mind.
I'm here and cheering your new life on! Xo
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