In talking to a friend the other night, we got on the topic of strength. Most especially as it pertains to women.
There's an idea out there that strong women are bitches.
I'd say that bitches are bitches.
When did the idea of strength in a woman become defined as being a bitch?
When did women become proud to wear that "B" on her chest?
Maybe I'm not seeing it properly.
When I think of a strong woman, I think of someone who has faith in her convictions. I think of a woman who is tender and nurturing, yet protective and fierce in the face of tribulations.
When I think of a strong woman, I think of a strength that comes, not only from within, but from with out. From leaning on the support of those around her. From the friendships she builds and the relationships that are forged in flame.
When I think of a strong woman, I think of a mother giving birth, her body straining to bring new life into our world. I think of the sacrifices, the commitment, the love she pours into that tiny baby without asking for anything in return.
When I think of a strong woman, I think of the single mother working two jobs while still making sure her children eat healthy food, don't watch too much TV and get their homework done.
When I think of a strong woman, I think of the mother who advocates for her child so he can receive the best education he can get no matter what delays he may have. I think of a mother who stubbornly refuses to give up, to take the easy way out, and pushes for her child's right to learn.
When I think of a strong woman, I think of a caring friend who puts aside her own worries in order to take on those of another. Who uses her capable hands to create a meal, to squeeze a shoulder, to clean a kitchen that is not her own.
When I think of a strong woman, I think of someone who knows that in order to survive, she must first surrender. She must face fear and uncertainty and move forward in darkness with nothing but faith to assure her light is ahead.
When I think of a strong woman, I think of kindness. It's so very easy to be mean, to be thoughtless of another's feelings. It takes true strength to be kind when others are not.
When I think of a bitch, I think of a woman who succeeds at the expense of another. I think of a woman who cowers behind a facade of anger and self-righteous indignation without working on a solution. I think of a woman who believes fighting for what she wants is the same as fighting for what she needs. I think of a woman who has let the hardness of life turn her hard.
Tell, me. Do I have it wrong?
Because, the thing is, I know a lot of strong women and a few bitches.
And in my experience, they're not one and the same.
13 comments:
Amen, sister.
I completely agree - very well put!
You have it very right. And until I got to your point about it, I was thinking of my mother. A widow, single mom, raising 6 kids. and we're all much better because of her. Strong is beautiful. Bitchy is just plain ugly.
You are right. Definitely.
I agree. I would also point out that the glamorization of "bitch" has done nothing but degrade women across the board. And yet, young women who proudly wear that "B" do not see the broad and lasting effects of their adornment.
In my foolish youth, I was proud to be a bitch. I have since seen the error in my ways. And have amends to make.
Agreed! Not only do I agree with you, but I think bitches are the antithesis of strong women in many ways. Bitches are nothing but insecure with themselves, while strong women are secure with themselves. Can't be one in the same! :) As always, great post Mandy.
Hallelujah, Amen! You can be as tough (strong) as you want to be but you don't have to be mean. There is DEFINITELY a difference. I know both and they have nothing in common. People like strong women. People are scared of and hate bitches.
Yes, that is exactly what I think too. A bitch (or mean person in general) is attempting to hurt someone else. A strong woman has purer intentions - believing in what she feels is right and just, protecting herself or her children, etc.
I completely agree with you. I hate the way strong is equated with bitch in modern speech. To me, it's just another way to take legitimate strength away from women.
Mandy? This is amazing. Strength is something to strive for, model and be.
Bitchiness is...just fun to pull out sometimes for the heck of it.
Wait, what? :)
Brilliant post my dear friend!
Beautifully said!
Yes there is a difference.
Though I have seen both in myself.
I want to be one of the strong women you describe so beautifully here.
You have it absolutely 100% right! And don't ever let any one tell you different. EVER!
I'm adding this to my favorite posts page: http://www.lettersforlucas.com/blogs-i-follow/
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