"An idea is like a virus, resilient, highly contagious and the smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you."
Last weekend was rough here in Mandyland, because an idea, a small seed of an idea, was planted in my mind and, for three days, it grew until it started to crack the foundations of my house with the tenacity of a weed.
And me without my weed killer.
I've read and researched and knew what to expect from separation and divorce. I know it's a roller coaster that will leave me shaken and uncertain long after I'm off, but, I didn't quite realize how much it would spiral and dip down.
I kept my smile on my face, the brittle facade that covered the turmoil. I went to Farmers Market with the kids, chatted with my mom and her friends, got dressed and put on my make up. By noon, the facade was cracking. I locked myself in my room and cried.
Thankfully, I have good friends and family who slapped (figuratively, though I'm sure Sarah was ready to do so literally) some sense into me and reminded me, in the words of Mrs. Tucker, I'm an SBW. Without the B. Probably more of a SWW if I have my acronyms right.
I shook it off. I pulled that weed out by the roots and tossed it into the greenwaste.
(BTW, this post is officially a drinking game. Take a shot every time I change metaphors.)
I'm feeling much better today.
But now I know how rough the ride can get.
Ye-frickin'-haw.
22 comments:
Love you.
Seeds, weeds, tears and all.
It gets better, Mandy. I promise.
I had no idea you were going through a divorce, Mandy (out of the loop here). I'm so sorry. I hope that each day, it gets just a little easier for you. (hugs)
I am new to your blog and had no idea you were going through a divorce. Sending you strength and positive vibes. One foot in front of the other.
Oh Mandy (I hear Barry EVERY time I write that!)...sending you hugs and weed killer (one and the same, right?)
Please keep mixing metaphors, and quoting awesome movies and being you!
I'm sorry you're struggling, hun :( Prayers and thoughts are with you *hugs*
It takes amazing strength to keep getting up and attacking life, my hat is off to you my friend!
I Googled "SBW" and the only thing that made even the remotest sense was the Urban Dictionary definition, and I can't figure out why you would ever call yourself that. Or why anyone else would call you that.
For SWW I got nothing.
Let's focus on what's really important here, you saw Inception and you can glean some coherent message from it! Translation you are a genius!
Oh girlfriend. Not only did I glean a coherent message from it, but I actually figured out the ending.
Would it make more sense if I said Mrs. Tucker is African American? :)
Thank you so much, sweetie. :)
Thanks. I guess there are good days and there are bad days. Today, thankfully, is a good day. I found cute shoes and a shirt that makes my boobs look good. :)
Last weekend was rough. No doubt about it. Today? Not so much. I think it's going to be up and down for a while.
Is it because I came and I gave without taking?
It's fairly recent. I'm writing on a delay just so that I have time to process.
Thank you for your positive thoughts. I actually felt good vibes come around ten hours ago. Must have been you. :)
Also, welcome! It's not always this dark. Promise.
Thanks. It is getting easier. We're a couple months in now and I'm starting to see the light. I was just taken unawares by the bit of darkness that popped up.
It has to, right?
Love you too.
Even if I am all weedy and seedy and teary.
It is definitely a roller coaster ride. I hope that your good days where things are a bit easier start to out number the hard days very soon. Been there, sending you a virtual hug!
I'm still lost.
I started writing a comment, but then I got lost in my digression, so I deleted it all and came back to say, good for you...for the tears, for the friends, for power to yank that weed, and for all those metaphors! :>
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