Part One:
Buy a ridiculously expensive paint roller to give a touch of girly to your new single gal room.
Side note: Painting your bedroom is on The List. You know...the list that I put together to survive and thrive during a divorce? That List.
Use that roller and discover that it's inherently flawed and you just wasted $45. Plus shipping and handling.
Part Two:
Scrub paint from the carpet after the roller explodes. Scrub paint from multiple spots on your carpet. Leave it to soak and then, scrub more paint from the carpet. Repeat in front of a large sliding glass door with the sun pounding on your flesh and curse words coloring the air.
Part Three:
Forget to wear a bandanna to hold back your too long bangs. Have bangs fall in your face. Repeatedly. Remember, you can't brush them back because your hands are covered in a soapy paint mix.
Walk into the bathroom and, instead of putting on a headband like any rational person, use a pair of cuticle scissors to hack off your bangs to a ridiculously short length.
Look in the mirror and immediately call a stylist who "tsks" at you. And is booked. For the rest of the weekend.
That, my friends, is how to build enough frustration to fuel painting, cleaning and organizing a bedroom in less than 36 hours.
Go check out my full review of this stupid roller at Makes Fun.
30 comments:
Oh dddear (yes in the Winnie the Pooh voice)
I have to say that is hilarious... and only because I was there for 2 out of 3 of those steps to frustration. You are so funny... I only wish I had been dressed to see your hair when you came by. Lol. But I still feel awful about the paint and hope it dried lighter than the walls. Stupid roller...
Plus side is that you get to visit your stylist who will give you a smashing new look! Yes?
Oh, honey. Are we related?
I guess I won't ask how your weekend went, then? It'll get better, Mandy.
That's where the men come in and you say something like "Oh but honey, you do it so much better than I do"...gets my husband every single time.
Oh no! Good thing is 1. hair grows back and can be styled to hide the mistakes. 2. You can get new carpet, or hardwoods, or anything else ?!
Love and a good trim to you, my friend.
Stylists really need to learn not to mock us when we're making them money.
Oh no! If it makes you feel better I once thought shaving my unibrow would be faster than plucking. It was faster...it worked so well I shaved off half my eyebrow.
I must have photographic evidence. Only because I love you, I promise!
Gah! You are a brave, brave woman for attempting to paint your bedroom. I tend to hire people to do these things for me as it is cheaper than therapy. I'm glad to hear you are tackling your list!
sorry about your painting demise... i will learn from your fiasco & rely on my trusty paint rollers & wooden extension pole... didn't want to tell you ~ but i'm one of those painters who doesn't use the blue painting tape! I love cutting it the trim, ceiling & baseboards (i'm weird that way) & NO ONE is allowed to use my paint brush for "cutting"...
Oh Mandy. How can you make such an awful experience sound so funny. PS I saw your bangs on FB and they are ADORABLE. Hang in there sweetums. Your new room is beautiful. Just like you.
Oy. Sounds like your pockets were beyond hurting, more like exploding. I think mine would too.
Since I'm catching up, backwards, this might already be answered....but....what color did you attempt to paint your room before that roller decided to get all Mt. St. Helen's on you?
It's a beautiful color called Paris Evening. I'll be doing a picture post soon.
Thanks, hon. I swear, if I wasn't laughing so hard I really would have exploded.
Oh Chris! Nooooo! You're a PROFESSIONAL?!?
For some reason, this comment made me giggle. A lot.
I too would like to hire people to do these jobs, but am too cheap.
I put it on twitter. Hacked off bangs and all. Only because I love you. :)
That's just awesome. In an "Oh. My. God." way.
Seriously. And she always mocks me. Makes me want to go to her even more. It's a sick relationship, really.
And even bangs.
I'm going to have to replace the carpet at some point. I guess it's okay...I really wanted hardwood anyway.
I wish!
HAHAHA! Actually, it wasn't bad. I'm pretty good at laughing at the ridiculous at this point.
You have bang issues too?
Yes.
It's so funny and awful at the same time.
I love that you used Pooh so perfectly.
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