A few years ago, I wrote a little letter to my local paper on the joys of commuting. This morning, after nearly being run off the road by a PT Cruiser and a raised red truck with orange flames, I thought I'd re-post it. For old time's sake. And to lower my blood pressure.
Dear Ms. SUV and Mr. Prius:
It's me. The lady you cut off today in order to advance .001 mile further down the road. I just wanted to write you a brief note to thank you for making my morning commute a game of Mario Kart.
I understand that I had an enviable cushion of space between me and the car in front, but I want that bit of space for a reason. You see, according to Smart Motorist, a safe distance between cars driving 75 mph (and you know we were) is 333 feet. In heavy traffic, that number doubles to 666 feet, but we'll just pretend that there weren't all that many cars on the Grade this morning. Smart Motorist - and aren't we all smart motorists - gives the following rule of thumb for deciding if you're following too closely.
"To determine the right following distance, first select a fixed object on the road ahead such as a sign, tree or overpass. When the vehicle ahead of you passes the object, slowly count "one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand." If you reach the object before completing the count, you're following too closely. "
Easy, isn't it? You can even make it a game you can play with the kids, Ms. SUV.
Now I understand that you both have lightening quick, cat-like reflexes and only require 2 feet of space to come to a complete stop, but I don't. Before my first four cups of tea, I really don't have any reflexes. Maybe I should have stopped at Starbucks like you did, Ms. SUV. That venti you were drinking while chatting on your phone looked really yummy.
I also understand Mr. Prius, that your super cool, technologically advanced vehicle has the ability to jump over a car if it suddenly stops in front of you. Unfortunately, I'm driving a '91 (yes, from the last century) Prelude* that was made with recycled aluminum cans and tends to crumple when I sneeze on it.
You can both understand, perhaps, that considering the above, I would appreciate you allowing me my bit of space.
In closing, let me thank you again for that quick spurt of adrenaline. There's nothing like a couple of near collisions to get the ol' heart pumping. I'm sure the driver of the truck you swerved around to jockey for a better position in front of me would agree.
Sincerely,
Mandy
*I no long drive an aluminum can. We've moved to our own Hybrid so I can safely add that I know without a doubt it's not able to jump over cars in a single bound. Unless I missed that bit in the information packet.
18 comments:
I couldn't have been that nice. I would have had a letter filled with F Bombs.
Aaaaand this is why driving scares me. It shouldn't, but it does. I hate people.
You have shown much more restraint than I would have! ;-)
LOL we don't have a long commute but we battle heavy traffic right at prime time and we have three stops to drop the kids off at school...needless to say our mornings can become quite eventful!
Love it. It reminds me of a letter that I wanted to write and tape to the windshield of the car that chose to parallel park across three(!) vertical parking spots e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e d.a.y in front of my son's preschool.
I never did though. (I would have, but I never had a pen on me, and by the time I got home I had forgotten about it, every single day.)
I can assure you...what I said at the time was far less nice and nowhere near as polite. ;)
Seriously. It's not my driving that freaks me out, it's all the other people out there!
It's like a cross between Frogger and Mario Kart with a tad bit of Speed Racer thrown in.
Oh, now that sucks. Because I bet, every day, you swore you were going to write that note and every day it bugged you even more that you forgot.
Love it. Dallas is the worst. Literally, #1. But I drive one of those SUVs :) No worries, with the price of gas going through the roof, she'll be spending more time in the garage, plus, when I do make it out, I'll be in the back of pack trying to draft and conserve fuel. Promise not to cut me off?
hee... I used to commute on the interstate every morning, and back then? I could have written this right along with you!
Can I print this out and distribute it on my morning commute?
I promise I'll never cut you off. I'm the one scowling at the drivers swerving around me.
It's the worst! I swear, every morning, I end up at work with my blood boiling.
Absolutely.
Hahahaaha. I love the part about your car crumpling when you sneeze on it. I used to drive a Hyundai Elantra and it felt like a tin bucket on roller skates.
Oh yeah...we're totally pimpin' in our rides. lol
If I could get away with it, I'd park my car and ride a bike. Sadly I'm too out of shape for an 80 mile daily bike ride.
I have read your open letter, so you have to be very careful with the things you do. Look in here 2nd grade writing paper good job.
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