I know. It happens so rarely.
Which means you should probably grab a cup of coffee and prepare for the worst.
Just don't grab a donut because...
A blog entry from Marie Claire is making the rounds. Entitled Should "Fatties" Get a Room? (Even on TV?) and written by Maura Kelly, this little piece explored the complex issue of whether or not it was gross to watch two obese people kissing.
And no. I'm not joking.
I sat at the computer, eating my grapes, wearing my BodyMedia FIT and feeling sick to my stomach. The stomach that is sitting on my legs.
I read:
"...I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair."And then, because that wasn't enough, Ms. Kelly continued to give helpful hints for all those struggling with obesity because, after all, obesity is something a person "has a ton of control over".
At first, I was so angry, I wanted to spew a rant of epic proportions, full of terms like "idiotic" and "ignorant" and, well, this is a PG blog so I'll stop there. But you get where I was going with this. Then, I stopped because I read her apology. Which, honestly, wasn't as much an apology as a back pedal. And I realized something...
She honestly feels that all obese people just don't have the will power, knowledge and strength to lose weight. She assures the reader that she knows that slimming down can be tough. She says that it will take some time, but it'll be so worth it. In her own, sadly naive way, she's trying to be encouraging.
I wonder if she's ever been on a 1000 calorie a day diet that leaves you light headed and exhausted, but doesn't help you lose more than a quarter of a pound a week.
I wonder if she's ever had to lose more than fifty pounds in order to be considered healthy.
I wonder if she's ever gone to a party, a family dinner, a restaurant, a club and drank water and ate raw veggies in order not to blow her diet.
I wonder if she's ever stood in a dressing room in tears because she realizes she needs to go up a size.
I wonder if she's ever gone to the pool and felt as though everyone was staring at her, judging her. Oh wait...if Ms. Kelly was there, that might very well be the case.
Because, honestly, if she hasn't walked a mile in my Lane Bryant jeans, she has no idea what it's like to struggle to lose weight.
And yes, kids, while I'm considered obese by medical standards, I can walk a mile. I can run a mile. I can pick up my kids and play and dance - well sort of.
My body, my rolly, polly round body, has given birth to two children. My breasts have nourished two babes. And while I'm working to get fit, to get healthy, I understand that my situation is not the same as everyone else. I understand that not everyone can just lose weight - no matter how hard they try. I understand that there are emotional, psychological, physical reasons why people are obese.
And I understand that it's no more my place to judge them and their actions than it is for me to judge Ms. Kelly.
So I'll conclude with any time there's love in this world it should be celebrated. No matter the size.
For more posts on this topic, go here to see the link up.
11 comments:
Bravo!!!
Go Mandy Go! I am actually on the phone with my sister and she was telling me about this STUPID article. So I went to my trusty Google (personally surprised that this magazine was still even being published - I thought it had folded with all the others a few years back), then clicked "more" from Google and came across your post. Which by the way was second on the list! I personally think it was so much that the writer is an ignorant hoe, so much as the editors KNEW what was going to happen and just hoped to bring readership to the website. Shame on them.
Thanks, ladies!
Heather, I agree that it was most likely a quest for increased traffic, but as another blogger participating in the linkup said, it doesn't make it right. By ignoring it, we say it's acceptable.
Nicely said! I've been seething about this all day myself. I don't even know how I came across it, maybe twitter. But uggghh!
I haven't read the article (and don't care to) but someone said something in the same vein on my Faceblind mailing list. I gave her what for, and while I think I was the most direct, others chimed in with their disgust for her prejudice.
I actually threatened to punch someone in the face once for ridiculing a friend of mine for having gained some weight. And I meant it, too... but I was glad when one of the residents of the house where this party was asked him to leave, and he did. (I was glad partly because I would have missed, but I'd have been glad even if I had good aim...)
Oh Zannie! I'm so glad your friend had you to support and defend her.
Don't bother reading the article. It was just so...offensive that the more I think about it, the more angry I get that it's getting a gazillion hits. :)
And of course I write something. With a link. 'Cause I can't stay quiet on this one.
Amen! While I appreciate that she noticed her ignorance was angering people, the fact the blog post is still up speaks to the integrity of the editors and the blogger herself. It was absolutely abhorrent that it ever made it to the web. The excuse that Ms. Kelly was anorexic and therefore gives her some type of inherent knowledge on the subject? That's simply an unreasonable excuse for ignorant bullying.
I think people like to look at beautiful people. It's just human nature. So, that's what we see on TV and in magazines, etc. I guess it's just that our definition of beautiful, as a culture, is pretty limiting. But I agree Mandy that there was a complete lack of understanding, sympathy and caring on Maura's behalf. My husband and I are constantly struggling to lose weight and it sucks!
Go Mandy!
The friend in question is a guy, and fortunately he was not there at the time of the comments... though someone (accidentally) mentioned it to him later, so he does know it happened.
*clapping loudly* I love that last line. It's beautiful.
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