Really Wal Mart?

I have a Wal Mart credit card.

Today, I decided to pay it off and instead of killing a tree and paying postage, I thought I'd go to Wally World's website to make my payment.

Since I'd never done this before, I had to register.  The site asked me all sorts of personal information:  account number, security code, password, email address, home address, social security number and mother's maiden name.

I typed it all in and then...

Denied.  Mother's maiden name invalid.

What??

I typed it in again, more slowly.

Denied.

I typed her married name, just in case.

Denied.

I called the customer service line and fell into automated hell.  After fifteen minutes of entering numbers and passwords, the auto-perator asked for my mother's maiden name.  I spelled it out and...

Denied.

Finally I was transferred to a real life operator who asked all the same questions, adding my high school mascot and the name of my first pet.  Then she asked for my mother's maiden name.

I gave it to her and she replied, "I'm sorry, but that is incorrect."

"It's actually correct, but I think I entered the wrong information on my application.  Could you tell me what I entered so I can go on line and pay you?"

"I'm sorry.  I'm not able to release that information."

"Can I give you a few alternatives and see if I accidentally entered that?"

"Yes."  I gave her all the last names of everyone related to me.  Each name came with a "No."

"Okay.  Maybe I misspelled it.  Does the name on my application rhyme with the name I'm giving you?"

"I'm sorry.  I can't give you that information."

"Look.  I just want to give you guys money.  I want to pay off my card and I can't do it because I entered my mother's maiden name incorrectly."

"Her maiden name would be the name she had before she was married."

"I understand.  I'm saying, I either misspelled the name or mis-entered it."  Although, for a split second, I had to wonder if anyone who qualifies for a Wal Mart credit card would not understand the term "maiden name".

"I'm sorry.  I can't release that information."

"So you're telling me that even though I just gave you every identifying piece of information I can think of with the exception of my favorite color, you can't give me the word that I entered in the "Mother's Maiden Name" field because..."

"It's against our security procedures."

"So how would you suggest I pay you?"

"I can change the name you entered to another maiden name."

"So I can tell you her real maiden name and you can then change that field to reflect the correct information?"

"Yes."

"And that's not against your security procedures?"

"Correct."

"Fine." I gave her my mother's maiden name, boggled that she hadn't told me this fifteen minutes ago and resisting the urge to tell her it was Huggabottom or Loony or Sweaterfuzz.

"I changed the name for you.  You should now be able to access your account.  Thank you for calling Wal Mart."

I immediately paid my account and cut up the card.  No way I'm going through this hell again.