The mommy sites are on fire.
Better Homes and Gardens recently published an article on their website listing the "Ten Commandments of Dining Out with Little Kids". One of the commandments? Thou Shalt Not Breastfeed at the Table. The author's suggestion? Go use the restroom.
Note: Since the explosion of negative comments and "press", they've changed it to the "Nine Commandments", deleting the offending commandment. Doesn't have quite the same ring, does it?
I don't even want to touch the restroom portion. Granted, Nordstrom's has an amazing mother's room complete with soft lighting, couches and nice music, but I've never seen that in a restaurant. I assume nursing in a restroom would require me to sit either a) on the floor - something I'd never do sober or b) on the toilet? You know. With my pants up and if I'm wearing a skirt then hope the fabric doesn't dangle in the water. And then juggle a baby while trying really, really hard not to think about the strange sounds coming from the next stall. Okay. Again. Not going to touch that part of the article.
*shudder*
I'm a breastfeeding mother. My sister and friends breastfeed. Many of the women in my mom's group breastfeed. And in all that time, with all the people who I've watched nurse, I've never seen a breast. Sometimes there's a little flash of skin. (And we're talking less skin than Janet Jackson at the Superbowl.) But every woman I've been around - even when not using a nursing cover - is pretty, well, covered up.
I've nursed Elizabeth at restaurants, parks, the beach, stores, family gatherings, at work, in the snow, at Disneyland while eating with chopsticks. (Gotta get another shout out for that one.) The only time I let it all hang out, so to speak, is when I'm at home or with one of my sisters. If I can nurse in front of my father-in-law, then I think it's safe to assume that I'm not baring a lot of flesh. (And trust me...there's a lot of flesh to be bared. I'm not exactly a "B" cup nursing mother. Shoot. I'm closer to "L" than "B".)
So what's so distracting about it?
What is so offensive?
I'm honestly curious. The way that some people react to the idea of a woman breastfeeding, you'd think nursing mothers sit topless, boobs bared while drinking tea at Starbucks. (I was going to write "coffee" but that's too...cliche.)
Do they? I mean, I've only witnessed a few dozen women nurse. I could be wrong. But, as I always tell Chad, more than likely I'm right and it's the idea, the uniformed, uneducated idea that's offensive.
In that case, I have one thing to say...
Get a life.
2 comments:
There was a story not too long ago about a woman who got in a conflict with an airline because they asked her to cover up while nursing on a flight. They weren't asking her not to nurse, just to cover her breast while doing so. So I guess there are some women who get pretty bare while breastfeeding in public.
Me, I don't even care if people don't cover up, but at the same time I understand that it bothers some people, and I think it's reasonable to ask people to use a blanket or something if their clothing can't be arranged for adequate discretion. (I do NOT think it's acceptable to ask mothers not to breastfeed in public.) The argument that it's perfectly natural doesn't fly; lots of things are perfectly natural that are taboo in public. Sex, for example. (I'd personally be in favor of a society where boobs were not taboo, but they seem to be in this country.)
The people who think pregnant bellies are ugly though, they can just go jump in a lake. If you don't like it, don't look.
I never noticed mothers nursing until I became a mother and I still haven't really seen another mother nursing, except in mother's groups or where there are a lot of other mothers and most of the time I only know because of the blanket draped over the baby.
I started out using a cover and it was because I wasn't comfortable and not able to nurse without letting my belly hang out...Now, I never use a cover unless I'm wearing a top that the only way I can nurse is by pulling my top down.
I think most mothers don't want to nurse with their boobs hanging out. I haven't figured out why people assume that nursing means showing a lot of skin. The most one sees of my boobs is a little skin above the nipple and only because my lovely little daughter pushes my shirt up sometimes. But she does the same thing with the cover, she doesn't want to be covered up, she wants to see me and what's going on around her. She's a human being just like us and the babies whose mothers feed them formula.
I think the issue is more on the societial impacts rather than baring skin. I show less skin when nursing than other women do on a normal day. They're considered sexy and I'm obscene?
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