Most Embarrassing Mom Moment

Joseph and I went to Wal Mart yesterday to pick up a few things. He was great - no fussing about being in the store, content to look at the toys for just a few minutes, helpful with putting things in the cart. When we went to pay, he got into the back of the cart so he could help unload our items onto the checkout counter.

We'd just emptied it out and I was grabbing my purse when he announced, "I pee now!" I lurched towards him in horror while he proceeded to pee, through his shorts and down his legs, forming a big puddle under the cart.

Side note: This was the first accident he's had in four days. He'd gone just before we left the house and we weren't even at the store an hour. I honestly thought I was in the Safety Zone.

Embarrassed, I frantically asked the clerk for a roll of paper towels. She handed then over with a plastic bag and said, "I'm not sure what to do here."

Side note: Has the intelligence of our nation really plummeted that much? I'd say at this point, I'd call out "clean up at check stand 4" and re-direct the customers waiting in line to another check stand. But what do I know?

I squatted my cumbersome pregnant body down and started awkwardly wiping up the puddle, the cart and Joseph's legs, while he stood in the cart, content to watch.  One lady in line very kindly helped me move the cart and laughed, telling me to remember this story for future girlfriends. The customers behind her were not so patient.

I could hear grumbling and shifting. I could feel the stares burning into the back of my head as my face turned twelve shades of red. Wishing I was anywhere other than this place at this moment, I huffed and puffed, wiped and prayed for an earthquake.

Just a small one.

Then, the clerk, still looking down at me, said, "Isn't he potty trained? If he isn't, why do you have him out without a diaper?"

Irritatingly apologetic, I explained that he has been doing really well and hasn't had an accident, mentally slapping myself for apologizing and seething at the question.

When I finally got everything cleaned up and all the soiled towels in the bag, I pulled myself into a standing position and handed the bag to the clerk.

"Umm..." she stared from me to the bag and back again. "I really don't know where to put that."

"Never mind. I'll just take the bag home and toss it." I paid and almost ran out of the store. We got to the car where Joseph's potty chair and change of clothes were waiting. I cleaned him up and put him in a change of clothes.  By the time we got home, my face had finally started to turn a bright pink instead of the tomato red it'd been earlier.

Most. Embarrassing. Moment. So. Far.