Over the last couple of weeks, I've had a few emails from women who said I made getting a divorce look tempting.
Uh.
Thanks?
I feel like I need to say, being a newly single woman/mom isn't all karaoke and cat kisses and it's not all vision boards and sushi making.
It's also trying to make a decision at 2 AM whether or not you should bundle up the sick kids to take them to the 24-hour grocery store and pick up children's Tylenol or just try to reduce a fever with cool clothes and tepid baths.
It's doing the dishes and packing lunches while eating dinner and supervising homework.
It's not being finished with your day until nearly midnight and starting it at six.
It's fear of financial failure.
It's laying awake at night and telling yourself not to be afraid of the bump in the dark.
It's wondering if you'll ever truly trust another person again.
It's wondering if you'll ever truly trust yourself again.
It's missing your kids when they're not with you and being exhausted when they are.
But...at the same time...
I finally live in a peaceful house. The only craziness is the sort of craziness that accompanies two active children. The only moods are mine and theirs. The only frustrations are the normal frustrations of motherhood.
As you all know, or gathered, I'm an optimistic person. I never get down for long. Thank God. I'd drive myself crazy if I did. I'm also stubborn.
No. Really. Super stubborn.
And I refuse to have an unhappy life. I refuse to waste time bemoaning what can't be. For many reasons, divorce was the right decision for me, for Chad, and, though I'm sure they don't realize it yet, for the kids.
It's not easy.
And it's not fun.
And it's not tempting.
But if I make it look good...
Thanks.
Now if only I could make these jeans look good.
11 comments:
I felt the same relief after both my divorce and after leaving my son's father. It felt good to come home again. The air was clean and I could breathe again.
I'm sure you rock the jeans, Mandy!
Maybe it's not that you make divorce look good or easy. Maybe it's that you are shinning through it, even as hard as it is. Maybe it's that we see your optimistic spirit rising to the surface. Maybe it's that even with all that's on your plate, you still make us smile. At least, you make me smile. Thanks! :>
Where's the Like button around here.
I agree with Karen at Time Crafted, and also with Mandy Fish. Exactly those things. Im glad you addressed those comments with reality.
I have a very similar outlook, I never got married (thankfully) and after my Ex, I didn't trust anyone for 10 YEARS.
Then I reconnected with a boy I had gone to school with from Middle School to High School, and he snuck under my radar and we've been together two and a half years. He is kind and gentle and he loves me like crazy.
I've been through a lot of bad things, and without going into detail, in my opinion the worst thing to happen to me, was the best thing to happen to me, if that makes sense.
Ok, I stumbled upon your vanilla recipe, and I am so on that, and I have now subscribed to your emails and GFC'd you. So, I'm either your new stalker, or fan depending on how you look at it. You made me laugh, you made me smile, you broke my heart a little. I'm impressed!
Now I have to call the Restaurant Depot and see if they have vanilla beans.
Who knows? I can't seem to find anything these days...
I hope that's what it is. And it makes me feel a little better to know that the exterior is a bit shinier than the interior. :)
I'm workin' on it!
Ooooh! I love new stalkers - I mean readers!
I have a feeling that at some point I'll look back and realize it was really the best worst thing to happen.
Everything is still a little smoggy at times, but it's getting there.
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