Monday, June 20, 2011

Out of Practice

My therapist assigned me homework.

And because I'm the studious sort, I took notes.

He said that one of the things he wants me to work on is emotional separation from marriage as well as viewing myself as a woman in addition to a mom.

He has obviously never had children.

Wait. Actually he has two.

Well, he's obviously not a mom.

Obviously.

He asked me to write up a profile on a dating site and try to strike up a conversation with a guy. He thinks I may be out of practice.

Being the dutiful Virgo that I am, I wrote a very cheesy profile, did NOT attach a picture and waited.

A guy winked at me.

Which seemed super dorky.

But, I winked back.

Which felt ridiculous.

Then he emailed me. Something light, asking if I had any exciting plans for the weekend.

And I emailed him back, telling him that I'm planning on trimming my chickens' wings to keep them from flying over the fence.

He didn't reply.

Something tells me that I'm not just a little rusty at this whole thing.

Something else tells me that my therapist might have been right.

31 comments:

Carrie Meadows said...

I have this bad habit of when someone asks me what I've been up to, I answer, "Oh, you know, the same ol' same ol', just taking care of Hayden blah blah blah..."  Basically, my answer?  Is that all I do is take care of Hayden.  Which isn't completely true, but I  come across that way.  And view myself that way.  This is also something MY therapist (WOMAN w/ two kids) has had me working on.  FOR A YEAR.  I have a feeling you are going to be better at it.  :)

Liz said...

You might be a bit rusty, but I think he mustn't be the guy for you. :)

Cheryl said...

What? How could he NOT be excited over a woman who can trim her own chicken's wings?

xo

Kir said...

'there is a LID for every pot" and I believe it,
You are a catch (and you can trim chicken wings, which is very useful!) Rusty??? As if!!!

I can't wait to see the lucky guy who CATCHES YOU my friend. xo

Mad Woman said...

I love you! 
The wink: totally dorky.
The wings: totally you. 
I wish you luck but also look forward to the outtakes from this "homework."
Sometimes the journey is as good as the destination. And I'm pretty sure I just ripped off someone wiser and better spoken than me.

Zannie Alvarez said...

I feel your pain.  I'm out of practice too.

But, at the same time, when you tell a guy you're going to trim your chickens' wings this weekend and he asks if he can come help, you'll know you've probably found someone compatible!

jessica said...

Awww, Mandy, you will find a man who totally loves your chickens :).

Stacey said...

I would be terrible too. But if chickens put him off, then he's not the right guy. You totally made me giggle though.:)

CDG said...

1. I like your therapist. A lot.
2. Photo, woman. Photo. 
3. I'm an excellent profile consultant (I married the 15th online frog I kissed)
4. You are, without a doubt, the very bestest. Now go out there and get on with any and all Tomfoolery which interests you!

*Kate said...

This, exactly.

Amy said...

HAHAHAH!  I think he just didnt get you....

My Pajama Days said...

Oh Mandy! I can't even imagine what my profile would have looked like: "single mom, living between her car and her parents' house, scraping by paycheck to paycheck, seeking hot sex with a really rich guy that travels a lot."

mandyland said...

I think it's a problem with ALL mothers. We see ourselves and Moms and if we're not careful, we can lose ourselves.

mandyland said...

I think you might be right. :)

mandyland said...

I don't know about you, but that just screams "Whatta catch!" to me.

mandyland said...

Hmmm...I like the way you're thinking....

mandyland said...

The outakes are going to provide blog fodder for quite some time. :)

mandyland said...

I think I missed something. Are you "back in the game" so to speak?

And I think you're right. I need a man who gets as excited about that sort of thing as I do.

mandyland said...

I hope so! They're not going anywhere. :)

mandyland said...

Good. It made me giggle too. :)

mandyland said...

1. My therapist knows what he's doing.
2. Really? A picture? Eek.
3. I mention spicy dill pickles and strawberry jam in my profile. Too farmy? ;)
4. xoxox

mandyland said...

I think you are right.

mandyland said...

Oh lady. This is going to be a crazy ride. I can already tell.

Lindsay said...

It's going to take a special kind of guy to handle the awesomeness that is you. Don't stress over it. Be your way-too-cool self and good things will happen. Easy peasy.

Sherri said...

Oh, you may be rusty....but I think you're quite a catch and funny!

Hey, maybe you can just put your sexy vlog on the dating site?!

Karen @ Time Crafted said...

Just use the blueberry post as your profile.  Wait.  That might lead to a whole different kind of gentleman.  One that might like that Other Mandyland??!! How about a picture, go with that.  :>

mandyland said...

Riiiiiight. Easy peasy. ;)

mandyland said...

With the candles, champagne and close up of my nose?

Dude. I'd be fightin' them off.

mandyland said...

HA! That post would get them drooling for sure. But I'd end up wondering if they're just in it for the jam...

Morgan Benzian said...

You can always tell a man's character by how he handles himself in a chicken coop. Keep it up girlfriend! If anything, your adventures in online dating will make for excellent blog fodder. ;) 

PS: I'm proud of you. That is all. 

Zannie Alvarez said...

Yes, I am, though since I stumbled back to this post by Googling my name, I think I won't comment on it here.  :)