Five in Two

This week I had the supreme honor to be insulted five times in less than two minutes.

That must be a record. Would someone mind contacting Guinness?  Either the world record keepers or the beer. I'm not picky.

I was speaking to a woman I've only met a few times. We have a nodding acquaintanceship that apparently was enough to allow her to make all sorts of judgments.

Our very brief conversation went a little something like this. (And for fun...count the insults with me.)

"Oh! Joseph is starting Kindergarten next year too."

"Do you know where he's going?"

"I'd really like him to go to a Charter school. I like the idea of smaller class sizes."

"I know most helicopter parents do." One.

"I went to a small school and really benefited from the one-on-one that I received from my teachers."

"You know, you really shouldn't transfer your own feelings of insecurity to your son." Two. "Most kids enjoy being in large class sizes so that they are able to socialize more effectively, especially if they're not given the chance before they start school." Three? "You should really do your research before making any decisions. It's not a good idea to leap in without thinking." Four.

At this point, I was trying to figure out if I was a helicopter parent for having an interest in my child's education or if I wasn't doing enough research into the same subject.

And, because I'm me, I was also trying to figure out if I'd just been handily insulted.

I am, on occasion, completely oblivious to social nuances. Must be from going to a small school.

"Um...well...It's just something my husband and I are looking in to."

"Do you know their teaching methodology?"

"Ummm..."

"You really can't form your opinion of a school without learning their methodology. You need to know if they're going to put your kids in front of a computer all day or if there will be social interaction."

"I'm sure they're not going to be in pods," I laughed awkwardly.

She looked at me seriously.

"I mean," I waved my hand in the air, "I'm sure they're going to be allowed to interact with other children."

She fixed me with a hard stare and curled her lip. No really. She curled her lip a little. "I just think that would be something you would know before considering a Charter School. It should be the first thing you consider." Five.

"I...." I looked around. "Well, would you look a the time! I really need to get going."

To give her credit, she was making very broad statements, but again, considering I don't typically pick up on insults, I don't believe I was being overly sensitive.

I was, however, flabbergasted.

I also thought of five amazing zingers to put her in her place.

Four hours later.