Thursday, May 13, 2010

Paddy Pans

"Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it." ~S.J. Perelman, Acres and Pains, 1951

I'm sorry S.J. Perelman.  I'm going to call a "BS" here.  Apparently my assessment last year was fairly apt:  I really do seem to be the only person on earth who can't grow squash.

In an effort to avoid the blossom end rot of last summer, I moved squash production to two areas:  the Main Garden and the Lemon Grove.

Side note:  We don't really have a grove.  We have one tree.  But it sounds so much nicer to term the tiny area beneath the kids' bedroom windows as the Lemon Grove than That Weird Shaped Patch of Dirt.

In both areas, I have giant green leaves, beautiful golden flowers and adorable tiny squash that turns into soft, yellow, disgusting mush before it can fully ripen.

What's the deal here?  Seriously.  Everyone else I know can't kill zucchini and paddy pans.  They take over entire yards.  They climb over every living thing in their path.  When they're pulled out at the end of the year, they come back.

What the heck am I doing wrong?

Anyone?  Anyone?

4 comments:

zannie said...

It can help if, once a squash is very definitely forming, you knock the blossom off. The flower will die and rot anyway, but if it's still attached to the squash when that happens, it'll rot the squash, too.

zannie said...

Oh, and S.J. Perelman can eat my shorts.

Christine E-E said...

need sun.... and once you finally get them growing - it can be challenging to get them under control. they like to run "everyone" out of town - hogging space & sun!

Anonymous said...

Zannie - I immediately went out to my garden and plucked flowers. Fingers crossed that this works.

Chris - My poor squash are being trellised within an inch of their lives!